Ex-Vodacom CEO, Alan Knott-Craig has been cleared of claims that he exploited company resources to share a few shekels with his family. And rightly so. Kids always need pocket money-slash-venture capital. How can fatherly love be illegal?

But more importantly, one Vodacom employee was given money “to be trained in the US to become a magician. Although the cost of the training was not disclosed, the network operator spent $71 141 for “magician’s props”, which the magician apparently still uses to perform at Knott-Craig family events.”

Why should this magician be singled out for help? What about other passionate illusionists with dreams in their hearts and a disappearing coin behind their ears?

What about the clowns, fire-eaters, comedians and balloon sculptors? “What about the guy who can play a flute with his nose, Alan?” you might ask. But at least Al’s helping.

Santa gets no help from The Man.

I don’t see other industrialists bankrolling old Santas, to tide them over until Yuletide. Unless those Santas are pulling in big paydays from glamour malls like Sandton City, they can’t possibly survive on one job per annum.

This mysterious cellphone magician made corporate money disappear, so is obviously talented. Which brings me to my convoluted point: The Non-Discrimination Circus. It’s a home for fringe performers who never cracked the bright lights of the Cirque Du Soleil or Vodacom.

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Related Link: Beyond the iPhone. Way Beyond.