Jabulani: Giver of happiness to non-racists.

The Jabulani ball is getting stick for being erratic. But this is an African World Cup, the ball was designed to be unpredictable. Just like the continent.

We don’t need an efficient Swiss train system or mail that arrives. We need a ball that keeps us guessing.

Anyone who criticizes the ball is a racist.

And the complaints about vuvuzelas? Racist. You didn’t hear us moaning about the rampant high-fives at the USA World Cup.

The Germans don’t seem troubled by Jabulani. Possibly because it’s made by Germans. There’s also speculation that the German team was built by Adidas in an underground robot factory.

Below are all the World Cup balls ever used.

Pele played with the equivalent of a crumpled leather handbag, which degenerated into mashed potatoes on a wet pitch. Making Pele even better than you thought.

Semi-related: SA Challenges SXSW Conference.

Images from the UK's Daily Mail